We all know how important it is to nurture a young child’s self-esteem.  But how, exactly, are you supposed to do that?  It seems like books, magazines, web sites, and professionals have at least a million-and-a-half recommendations for mothers and fathers.  One has to wonder why, with all this apparently good advice available, a lot of little kids suffer from issues centered on low self-esteem.

There are some obviously good ideas, such as not belittling a child and praising him when he does something good.  Unfortunately, children do not always do good things and occasionally require some correction and guidance.  So how do you provide that without making the child feel bad about himself?

What I have always found to be sensible, effective, and relatively easy to implement is a simple rule: when your child does something improper, make sure you criticize the behavior instead of him.  In other words, as opposed to what may be a natural inclination to say, “You’re a bad boy,” point out to him that “You did a bad thing.”

When your child misbehaves, it is perfectly understandable that you may find it impossible to refrain from being annoyed, frustrated, or angry.  And it is unfair and unrealistic for you to “hold it in” all the time.  However, by labeling the behavior rather than the child, you avoid encouraging him to develop the notion that he possesses an inherently unpleasant personality.  More importantly, you leave him with the clear impression that you believe he is capable of behaving properly and is not incorrigible.

 
Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D. (a.k.a. “Dr. Mike”) is a member of the management team at Romp n’ Roll.  After receiving his bachelor’s degree in psychology from Columbia University, he earned his master’s and doctorate degrees in human development from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, where he also held a position as a researcher with the Harvard Preschool Project.  He may be contacted via e-mail at drmike@romproll.com.

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New!  6 “Anytime” Summer Classes for $99! Plus, purchase by 5/31 and receive 3 bonus Open Gym visits.

We know how busy summer schedules can be. So for the first time Romp n’ Roll is offering our most flexible summer option ever! Our “Summer Passport” will allow you and your child to experience any 6 classes this summer. You can attend the same class 6 times or you might choose to try a variety of classes, days, and times!

6 classes are only $99 and can be used anytime between June 3 and August 31, 2013.  And, when you purchase before May 31, we’ll even include 3 Open Gym visits!

Purchase Information:

West End:  Call 804-249-5001 or purchase online

Midlothian:  Call 804-893-3142 or purchase online

Mechanicsville:  Call 730-2060 or purchase online

 Details:

• All classes must be taken at the location where you purchased the passport.
• Valid on any 45-60 minute age appropriate classes, subject to space availability. Our 2-hour Rompy’s Adventure is available for $10 extra per visit.
• No make-ups for missed reservations.
• All unused classes and open gym visits expire on 8/31/13.
• Siblings may not share a passport; however, our 15% sibling discount applies.
• If you are currently in a regular membership plan, you may freeze it and take advantage of this offer. Please contact us for more details.

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Your three-month-old baby is crying.  Should you go to her every time she cries, or would it be a good idea to “let her cry it out” on occasion?  A lot of people, and perhaps most prominently your mother-in-law, will tell you to let her cry it out now and then.  After all, if you go to her every time she cries, she will become “spoiled.”

While that may seem like a good suggestion, it is not based on an understanding of cognitive development.  The fact is that for the first six months or so of life, a baby does not have the capacity to retain information and experience in mental form.  She lives strictly in the here and now.  There is no past and there is no future.  There is only the present moment.  Therefore, all the things needed for “spoiling” to take place – memory, intentionality, manipulation, etc. – are far beyond the intellectual abilities of such a young baby.

So when the baby is crying, it is nothing more than a reflexive reaction to physical discomfort of some kind.  She is hungry, cold, wet, or in pain.  And to withhold nurturing services would merely be permitting her to suffer unnecessarily.  She is not really going to learn anything that would subsequently alter her behavior.

Of course, after the six month mark, she will develop the capacity to retain information and experience and she will fully realize that when she cries, someone picks her up, holds her, and plays with her.  Now she will start crying not only as a reflexive reaction to physical discomfort but also when she is lonely and bored and would like some company and entertainment.  Consequently, you will have to change your strategy.  But it’s nice to know that during those first six months, comforting your crying baby should not make you feel uncomfortable in any way.

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We have partnered with our friends at the Richmond Symphony to giveaway four tickets to their upcoming “Pixar in Concert”.  From the Toy Story trilogy to The Incredibles and UP, Pixar has forever impacted filmmaking and given audiences of all ages some of the most beloved characters in cinematic history. Now, the Richmond Symphony presents Pixar in Concert, with visually stunning clips and memorable scores from each of Pixar’s movies, including their latest release, Brave, performed live!

You won’t want to miss this magical show with your favorite Pixar characters from Cars, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., The Incredibles, and more! Come visit Pixar’s most beloved characters on the big screen with the Richmond Symphony at the Carpenter Theatre at Richmond Centerstage on May 18 and May 19.

Enter to win below for your chance to win four free tickets!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Whenever I look at a Construction Junction class at Romp n’ Roll, I think of my nephew Ben.  Since earning his Ph.D. at Stanford, he has been working for a variety of companies out in Silicon Valley and has been developing all sorts of innovative high-tech devices and software systems that are revolutionizing almost every aspect of our lives.

When Ben was a preschooler, he was enamored with Lego blocks and other construction materials.  Consequently, his grandparents were always buying him elaborate sets that came with impressive illustrations and extensive instructions.  Then, while they subsequently would be dismayed to see him toss out the illustrations and ignore the instructions, they ultimately couldn’t help but be amazed by what he eventually built using his own imagination.

That’s what I love about Construction Junction.  The little ones are given appropriate guidance and assistance as they pursue their projects, but the emphasis is on encouraging individual creativity rather than requiring adherence to pre-set directions.  After all, anyone can learn how to build a good mousetrap.  But if you figure out how to build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door.  My nephew Ben would have felt very much at home in this class.

Michael K. Meyerhoff, Ed.D. (a.k.a. “Dr. Mike”) is a member of the management team at Romp n’ Roll.  After receiving his bachelor’s degree in psychology from Columbia University, he earned his master’s and doctorate degrees in human development from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, where he also held a position as a researcher with the Harvard Preschool Project.  He may be contacted via e-mail at drmike@romproll.com.

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